


Blue Moon

by TheIgnisLux (Th3_XLight)



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Gay Male Character(s), Other, Slow Build, Transgender Bella
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-03-17 00:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13647768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Th3_XLight/pseuds/TheIgnisLux
Summary: When Benjamin Swan moves back to Forks, partially to make his mom happy and partially to escape his past, he discovers that not everything can be forgotten, and other things have to be if he want's to fully move on.





	1. A new dawn

**Author's Note:**

> This world and all of its characters (with exception of the obvious), does not belong to me, but to Stephenie Meyer.

 I’ve never given much thought to how I would die. Well, that’s a complete lie since I actually have thought quite a bit about how I would die. If you’d asked me just a few years ago I could have briefed you on every detail, now on the other hand, I’m not so sure anymore. After I told my mom, when I came out, after I got to change my name, and she promised me never to make me wear a dress ever again I’ve felt so much better. In fact, I don’t want to die anymore, even though I still have bad days, just knowing that I have people who support me and love me no matter what that I can talk to, make it worth the pain.

 

“Ben?”

 

“Yes, mom?” I turned my head so I could look at my mother as she’s driving.

 

“You know you don’t have to go right. You just say the word and I will come right back for you, you know that, right?”

 

“Yes mom, I know.” I also know just have much of a sacrifice it is for her to give that promise.

 

My small and fragile little forgetful mother that forgets to buy groceries and to pay the bills. She loves her new fiancé and it hurts her to be apart from him. Phil is a baseball player and has to travel a lot for work. Renée, my mother, has always stayed home with me even if it made her unhappy. That is why I made the decision to go back to where I was born and live with my dad my final years of Highschool. I will “exile” myself to the rainiest town on the entire planet (not really) because I love my goofy happy mother and after all she’s done for me she deserves it, and to get a break to just be happy. Now that she has Phil the bills will be paid on time and there will be food in the fridge even without me keeping a constant eye on her, and even if I’ll miss her and the warm and sunny weather I know I’ve made the right decision.

 

The clothing choices of the day was most likely a poor one in the hot Arizona weather, I have a feeling, however, that it will be rather helpful where I’m going. I picked out my least trashy black jeans and a white t-shirt combined with a grey hoodie I received from my friends as a farewell gift as a sort of promise that we would have to see each other shortly. I have a small collection of hoodies so it wouldn’t have been anything special if it didn’t come from them, and have cat ears on it. I love that hoodie, it reminds me of home and what I’m leaving behind, and why I have to do it.

 

“Are you sure about this? We can still turn around.” My mom sounds worried and a bit desperate, you can almost feel her emotions radiate off of her.

 

“Mom. I’m fine. I want to go.”

 

It was a complete lie, I did not want to leave but at the same time I did, but mostly I wanted to stay.  

 

“I’ll miss you,”  I said as after taking my luggage out of the trunk and stood, hugging her.

 

“Have a safe trip sweetie. Say hi to Charlie for me, will you?”

 

“Of course. Bye, mom. Love you.” I waved as I walked through the automated doors leading to my gate.

 

Goodbye sunshine, hello rain...

  


It’s a four-hour flight to Seattle from Phoenix and an additional hour to Port Angeles where my dad would pick me up to drive me back to the town of Forks. It didn’t rain when I landed in Seattle, but it did in Port Angeles. Most people might have seen it was a bad omen, but it isn’t some sort of bad sign, just something inevitable. I never did enjoy the summers I had to spend in Forks. Up until the age of fourteen I was forced to spend a month of every summer there with Charlie. It was torture for several reasons:

 

  1. The weather. It never stopped raining.
  2. Everyone called me Isabella.



And 3. It is a small town. Everyone knows everyone, and therefore being out of the ordinary gives you an automatic glowing target on your back.

 

Luckily Renée was understanding and after I came out I never had to go back and now, I just hope the few people that knew me have forgotten. I’m not changing back. No way in hell that I’m going back to being that depressed and miserable. Just, no way. Charlie has been making an effort ever since I told him, he’s struggling but it’s the thought that counts. And to be fair he has been getting much better.

 

The airport I’ve stepped into is small so when I get to the doors I see Charlie immediately. He doesn’t look at all different. We have the same dark brown hair, with the exception of the reader tones I have in mine after my mother, and we have the same brown eyes.

 

“Hi, dad,” I say when I get up to him and take off my sunglasses that I haven’t had any use for since I stepped on the first plane. At first, he looked like he was in shock or I stabbed him with a fork or something, then his eyes lit up and he smiled at me.

 

“Hi, Ben! How was your flight?”

 

“It was good, pleasant really.” The only thing I could think; _He remembered my name. He actually remembered. This is going smoother than I thought it would._

 

After the obligatory small talk, we were mostly silent during the car ride. We did have two noteworthy conversations. The first one about my transition:

 

“So, Ben... how’s the, um, transition going?”

 

“It’s going good.” I paused before it hit me. “What did mom tell you? Ch- Dad, wha- what did she say?”

 

“Oh, no. Nothing… She just.., um, reminded me of the thing I might have to do…” He looked embarrassed. He hadn’t been as active in this as he had wanted to be.

 

“No dad don’t worry. I’ve already arranged for my prescription to be sent to the nearest pharmacy and I’ve talked to the local hospital about it. They will take care of everything else.”

 

“Well.” He cleared his throat. “That’s… That’s perfectly good. I’m glad…” _This is awkward._

 

“Yah.”

 

The second one:

 

“Ben, you remember Billy Black.”

 

I looked up at him.

 

“You know, Billy from the reservation. You and his son used to play together when you were younger.”

 

“Was he the one we used to go fishing with?”

 

“Yes, that’s the one. Well, he’s in a wheelchair now and he offered to sell you his truck for a good price.”

 

“Really? What is a good price? And what model is it?”

 

“Well…” He seemed to have hoped that I wouldn’t ask that last question. “... You see… He has done a lot of work to it, the engine is just a few years old at the most.”

 

“How does it run? You know that if it breaks I can’t afford to repair it and I know nothing about cars.”

 

“No, it runs just fine, you don’t have to worry about that.”

 

“Okay.” I was still a bit sceptical. “How much is a good price?”

 

“Well, Ben, I have already, kind of, bought it for you. As a welcome home present.”

 

“You have? Oh. Thanks dad. You didn’t have to do that, I was going to buy one myself.”

 

“Yah. Now you don’t have to.”

 

Neither of us are good with “thank you’s” so it got a bit strange after that. When the house came into view I could see a big red pickup truck standing in the driveway, one of those big once that never seem to break no matter what you do to them.

 

“That is my car?”

 

“Do you like it?” It was kind of a stupid question considering I had the biggest dumbest smile on my face almost pressing it against the glass.

 

“Loke it? I love it! Thank you dad!”

 

As soon as the car stopped I jumped out to get a closer look at the car. My car...

 

“They don’t make em like this anymore,” dad said.

 

I just turned around and gave him a hug before walking back to the other car to pick up my small bag with clothes and other nicknacks. Most of my old wardrobe were just clothes suited for a much drier climate, so we had to compliment my wardrobe quite excessively on the small budget we had. It wasn’t much.

 

The good thing about Charlie is that he doesn’t hover. He showed me to my old room, pointing out on the way up that he cleared a shelf in the bathroom for me. The house only has one bathroom, so we would have to share. My room looked about the same as it always had just with a slightly larger bed a desk in a corner with an old computer and a phone jack. There was an old looking, but beautiful, dresser standing next to the desk and a sitting area under the window. The walls were painted a strange shade of purple or maybe green, no one could probably tell, so Charlie promised that we would go to the store and buy pain tomorrow so I could be settled properly before school started next week.

_With a few adjustments, this could be pretty nice._

I put my bag on the floor before going back downstairs to talk about dinner. Charlie mentioned something about a game being on tonight so I thought I should have a look about the cupboards and fridge to see what our options were. The only things I found in there were two unopened cans of soup that expired years ago and bread that, given the colour, had probably gone down the same path as the soup.

 

“Dad! There is literally no edible food in this house. We can take a swing by a store tomorrow as well to get some.”

 

“Oh… Yes, I usually just order in most nights to be honest.”

 

I scoff and sit down in the sofa next to him. We end up ordering pizza and watching the game, I don’t care for sports that much, it’s more like a bonding experience really. After the game I just want to go to bed so Charlie offered to take care of the plates. Brushing my teeth and go straight to bed in a sort of trans, I fell asleep as soon as my head hits my pillow. No time to think about what has become of my life, just blissful sleep.

 

The following week went by pretty quickly with everything going on. Just as I feared Charlie wasn’t much of a cook and since I had been cooking for mom since I was about seven I made this my job, Charlie took care of the dishes. We spent most of the time getting used to each other's presence and I tried to get used to my now depressing, sunless life. The parts not spent awkwardly dancing around each other was spent in my room, painting and setting up the old computer. I realized very quickly that it would come to be a problem, I was by no means a genius with a computer, but I was decent and that computer needed help beyond my capabilities. The money I saved on not having to buy a car would have to go to a new computer, which I needed desperately before Renée would kill me for being unreachable for too long.

 

During that first week, I noticed the house hadn’t changed that much over the years. The kitchen looked the same as it always had, painted in a bright blue colour in an attempt to let some sunlight in. It was not successfully, it did make the room feel a bit brighter against the darker outside and with the green details in the wood it looked kind of homey. I hated Forks, but I did enjoy the happier moments I’d spent with my dad. He never got over my mom and must have felt lonely living here all alone, I brought some happiness back in his life. I helped him more than I even knew at the time. I still hated Fork down to the bone, though.

 

* * *

 

When I woke up on Monday morning I knew I was doomed before even stepping out of bed. The rain had started falling at some point during the night which made it impossible to get a good night's sleep.

_Great, I’m gonna feel like a zombie on my first day. You would have thought I’d gotten used to the sound of rain by now._

I felt tired and not at all in the mood to start school back up again. It was the middle of the semester and I would be the weird new kid moving in form Arizona and not even being tand. I’m not really that short, especially after the unexpected growth spurt I had last year. I looked almost normal in my grey jeans and a black t-shirt. I choose to skip the glasses today. I don’t need them to see at all the times, they are just for reading and sometimes i use them for aesthetics, but I never used to wear them when I didn’t need to back home. In warm weather, glasses are just a pain. Now, on the other hand, I might not be able to because of the constant humidity and the risk of my glasses being rendered useless due to the condensation.

 

I ran down the stairs to get my raincoat and grabbing an apple on my way out. Even when I run to my car I still get wet, the rain isn’t that heavy but it’s still falling at a steady pace showing no sign of ending. Ever. The cab of the truck wasn’t particularly warm after spending the night in the rain. It doesn’t seem like there's any holes anywhere since it's completely dry, which is always something. I feel an immense relief when I turn the keys and the engine starts up immediately, it’s making a very loud humming noise when running. Guess everything has to have a downside. When I try the radio I’m once again pleasantly surprised to find that if still works. I just sit there for a couple of minutes and once the cab is fully heated I start to back out of the driveway and begin my short commute to the school. It’s not too hard to find as everything in Forks lay next to the main road. However, I almost missed it the first time I drove past it on my second day back. The school building is nothing particular as it looks like someone just dropped down a few grey looking cubes, some with roofs connecting them. It looks nothing like my old school which were made of red bricks and gave of strange prison vibes. I wouldn't say I missed it, but it was familiar.

 

When I arrived the parking lot is practically empty, and I have no idea where to park so I just take a spot near the administrative office. _I’ll just have to ask them about it and move the truck later._ As I walk through the door I see the receptionist and a small waiting area consisting of three chairs and a low table full of clutter. The woman at the desk gestures me to come over. When she doesn't say anything I attempt to get her attention again.

 

“Ehm… Excuse me?”

 

“Yes, dear?” She looks up at me now.

 

“Hi, em. I’m the new student, and…”

 

“You’re Swan’s kid, right?”

 

“Ben. Yes, I am. Hi.” I shuck her hand.

 

“Hello. Well- Oh, here is your schedule, and a map of the school, if you need it. And have all of your teachers sign this paper and just bring it back by the end of the day, all right?”

 

“Oh. Okay.”

 

The receptionist drones on and on about the teachers, the best routes between classes and it begins to feel like she would never stop talking. After what felt like an eternity she finally let me go.

 

“Well, good luck then.”

 

“Thank. Um... see you later.”

 

“Looking forward to it.”

 

She seemed nice but something about her made me uncomfortable, I just couldn't put my finger on what. _Maybe she’s just a bit more friendly then I’m used to, I don’t know._ The parking lot filled up fast and I had to hurry up to get a half decent spot. At least I don’t have to worry about my car sticking out as most of the cars seam old. The only car which wasn’t was this new looking silvery Volvo, and it stood out like a sore thumb among the rest. The roaring noise from my truck was starting to attract unwanted attention so I took the first spot I could find that wasn’t too far away. After turning of the engine I almost missed the noise, and the silence that followed in its absence made my heart sink a bit. The truck was the only familiar thing I had at this point. I sigh as I take the step out of the truck. The rain seems to have taken a break for now so I take advantage of the opportunity and start to move towards my first class.

 

I managed to find my way to the building without any difficulty and didn’t have to bring up the map either. _I might not die before the first period at least._

 

First period is English with Mr Mason, one subject I didn’t have to pretend I enjoyed. I entered right after two girls, one of them blonde with pale skin and the other with equally pale skin but with brown hair. They put their raincoats on hangers right next to the door so I followed their example. I had the strangest feeling like me and Mr Mason would get along quite nicely, after handing him the note to sign he directed me to a desk in the back of the room without forcing me to introduce myself to the rest of the class. It didn’t keep them from staring at me, and I could practically feel their eyes on me when they pretended to drop something on the floor or pretended to ask their table mate a question just to have an excuse to turn around. We were given a reading list, of which I’d already read all but one and written a paper on half. _Sometimes being a loner and a nerd helps. Could I convince my mom to send over my old essays?_

I was still contemplating this when class came to a close. One student obviously braver than the others came up to me. He introduced himself as Eric and seemed like a relatively nice guy. He had an acne problem and hair that looked like it hadn’t been washed in this century. He asked me about my next class and I checked my schedule.

 

“I have Political science with Jefferson, building 6.”

 

“I’m going to building 4, but we might have more classes together,”

 

“Yha.” I was a bit disappointed that he didn’t offer to take me there, I would have made it easier. I remembered the map I had in my bag but still decided against it. _I’m not going to look like an idiot on my first day._

 

“Hi. You’re...?” I didn’t let her finish

 

I turned around and saw a small girl with dark hair and glasses.

 

“It’s Ben. Hi.”

 

“Oh, well... My name is Angela. I overheard you and Eric talking and you said you're going to Political science, right? Building six?”

 

“Yes, do you know the way?” I probably came across as a bit too eager when I said that.

 

“Yeah,” She looked down at the floor but immediately looked up again. “I’m actually going there myself. I could show you if you’d like.”

 

“That would be great. Thanks.” My relief must have been very obvious. But it made her happy and you could see her entire face lit up.

 

“Great. Let’s go.”

 

Angela didn’t talk much, which I appreciated as I’m not much of a talker myself. We sat together in Jefferson’s class and he even showed me to my next class, which we, unfortunately, didn’t share. Not long after Angela left my side to get to her own class a new girl approached me. She said her name was Jessica and we had both Spanish and Maths together. She was nice and wasn’t uncomfortable with carrying the conversation on her own. I only said something when asked a direct question, but she didn’t seem to mind. I had a feeling we could become good friends.

 

Jessica invited me to join her and her friends for lunch, which I accepted. She introduced me as Ben, which was a huge relief. At the table where Angela from earlier, the boy with greasy hair that I remember introduced as Erik and a boy that looked sort of like a puppy. He was introduced, but I couldn’t remember his name. There were more people there whose names I didn’t even make an attempt to remember at the moment. They talk about the school, giving me tips on how to survive in their small corner of the world. About halfway through the meal, Angela makes a motion towards a table on the other side of the cafeteria. Jessica makes a face and I turn around to see what they’re looking at. On the other side, there is a table at which some of the strangest looking teenagers I’ve ever seen.

 

“They are the Cullens,” Jessica explains.

 

“Oh. And what does that mean?” That name might have a meaning here, but not where I’m from.

 

“They are the foster children of Doctor and Mrs Cullen.” Angela’s tone is different from Jessica’s, more indifferent.

 

“Well, you don’t have to waste your time,” The puppy boy shoots in, “ They are all dating. Each other I mean.”

 

“Mike!” Jessica gives him a look.

 

“It’s true.” Mike look is sending a clear message. He isn’t salty about the Cullen’s not dating as much as he is that Jessica cares about them not dating. _Mike must have feelings for Jessica._

 

I raise an eyebrow at her.

 

“The small dark-haired girl and the guy with the bronze hair are Alice and Edward Cullen, and the big guy that looks like a bodybuilder is Emmett Cullen. The blonde once are Jasper and Rosalie Hale. They all moved down here from Alaska just a few years ago.”

 

“That must be why I don’t remember them from before,” I commented, not thinking I said it out loud.

 

“You’ve lived in Forks before?” Jessica asked.

 

“Not since I turned fourteen, and even then only for a few weeks during the summer. Besides I spent most of it in the reservation.”

 

“Interesting. I still thought I would have remembered you.” Jessica continued. “You don’t happen to have a sister do you?”

 

“No. No sister.” _Shit. If she remembers me she could be a liability._

 

“Oh well. I must remember wrong then.”

 

“Why did you spend so much time in the reservation, anyway?” Angela asked.

 

“My dad’s from there. He doesn’t look it, but he is. His childhood friends still live there so that’s where we’d be.” I shrugged. They basically like my extended family, even though we never kept in touch over the years they were the only reason I kept up with Forks for as long as I did.

 

The conversation had left the Cullens, but I still had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that there was something they’d left out. Then I remembered.

 

“Five,” I said, maybe a bit too loud since several of the people from the surrounding tables turned around to look in our direction.

 

“What?” Everyone at the table looked confused at me, for once I wasn’t the one who was.

 

“Mike said that they all were dating each other. But there should be one left over since there are five of them.” Slowly they all caught on to my train of thought.

 

“Yes.” Jessica began explaining. “Alice and Jasper are dating, so are Rosalie and Emmett, and Edward is the only single one. But why?”

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why do you care. All the girls would have been taken no matter what?”

 

“Well…” I began. “ There is a way that one of the girls could have been single, but I don’t care really, I just wanted to get all of the cards you know…”

 

They didn’t look completely convinced but dropped the subject anyways. From what I could gather Jessica was bitter from getting turned down by Edward recently when she tried to ask him out.

 

I looked behind me in their direction to get a better look and see if I could catch what would have made Angela alert her friend to their presence. There was nothing as far as I could see that would have warranted the reaction they got. _It must just be the whole getting turned down by Edward thing, nothing else seemed even remotely likely._

They were all wearing fancy clothes and looked unnaturally beautiful, like models just before a catwalk. _Dressing like that would surely have people's heads turning in the corridors, but it appears to be a regular occurrence since no one else was staring._

Neither one of them had the least bit of resemblance except for their abnormally pale skin, perfect noses, and hair colour. Interrupting my thoughts were Edward, who just in that moment turned his head and caught my eye. He had a look in his eye as if he was expecting me to do something. I didn’t like that look and quickly turned down my gaze. Angela nudged my arm and I looked up from my half eaten plate of food.

 

“Edward Cullen is staring at you.”

 

I turned my head around again, as soon as I did it was his turn to look in another direction.

 

“He probably just wanted to take a look at the new student. He’s not the first.”

 

Alice stood up from the table and with a quick and gracious walk got to the opposite side of the cafeteria seemingly effortlessly. She dumped her untouched tray with food before leaving, looking more like a ballerina on a stage that a teenager supposedly experiencing growth spurts. My eyes were the only once following Alice as all the others seemed to be on me. _She just threw away a tray of perfectly good food. What a waste._

 

After lunch, I had my last period of the day, Biology. Mike shared this class with me and was gracious enough to take me without a fuss, he even let us walk in silence. When we entered the classroom he saunters of to a desk while I walked up the teacher in front. He was like most other teachers and didn’t force me to introduce myself before showing me to the only unoccupied seat in the room. Next to Edward Cullen, _of course it had to be him._

 

As soon as I sat down I could almost feel him fuming next to me. He moved his chair as far away as possible and sat at the weary edge of his seat as if he wanted to be as far away from me as physically possible. He made me feel on edge and I could feel the familiar feeling of panic creeping up. I tried my best to stay calm and avoid to look at him, and it worked… For most of the period. A little more than halfway through I had to sneak a glance at him just to make sure, and the eyes that meat mine where dark almost black and so full of rage that I forgot all about breathing and focusing on reality my therapist had told me about. The whole world started to spin and went all out of focus, my pulse was through the roof in second and I could practically feel the adrenalin spread through my veins. I had to get out. I had to get away. Luckily that was one of the things Charlie and my therapist had taken care of and now I didn’t have to worry about it. I just stood up and left the room without a word to anyone.

 

* * *

I apologize if the perspective doesn't make any sense. I tried, and I may have failed slightly. Sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any spelling or grammatical errors please feel free to alert me, English is not my native language and I'm Dyslixic so... Mistakes must be everywhere, just out of my sight.
> 
> Nothing might make sense, or some of it might. I have and will continue to take huge liberties with this story, and may even at times butcher up cannon, who knows.


	2. Edward; The beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the long wait. I havn't been feeling well for a while, and then finals came, and then there was work. I don't know how long the next chaper will take bt it is in the works. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter anyways.  
> This world and all of its characters (with exception of the obvious), does not belong to me, but belong to Stephenie Meyer.
> 
> Also, may take this chapter down and reuplode it since I always notice all of the misstakes after uploding.

 

For once in my life I was pretty glad of being trans, as it had landed me the sweet, sweet, deal of not having to attend any PE lessons if I didn’t want to. Back in Arizona I used to change in a bathroom stall, which were cramped and uncomfortable, but now I was the only student at the school who got out of having gym. As if I would choose to have gym if I could get away with not having it.

Once I slowed my heart rate, regained my composure and the tears stopped falling, I left the bathroom. This school was probably one of the only ones who could get away with having proper bathrooms and not rooms filled with stalls, as there were so few students. Biologi should be over by now so I walked towards the administrator's office partially to see about my stuff and partially to return the paper with the teachers signatures. Just before I were to leave the building someone behind me made themselves known by clearing their throat. I turned around and say the smaller one of the Cullen sister, the only thing I could do in that moment was stare. She was holding my stuff. How did she get them, she’s not even in that class?

“I was asked to give you these.” Her voice was melodic and she smiled at me as she handed me my books.

“Thanks,” I replied. “You could have just left them at the administration, I wouldn't have minded.”

“Nonsense. It was my pleasure. I’m Alice by the way.” She made a small waving motion.

“I’m Ben.”

“Short for Benjamin?”

“No. I mean, yes. But please don't call me that.”

“Oh, okay. I won’t then.”

“Thanks.”

Awkward silence followed.

“You heading out?”

“No, I have to go give this back to the administrator. She told me to get back to her by the end of the day, so…” I trailed of as I tried to read her face. She lacked even the smallest sign of micro expression. Weird. But that was nothing compared to the way she responded.

“I would wait a few minutes if I were you.”

“Why?”

“I just would, trust me.”

She turned around and started walking.

“Wait.” I reached out a hand to stop her and as soon as my hand came in contact with her skin she felt ice- cold.

I pulled my hand back, glad I’d practiced not showing emotions for so long.

“ I just…” How do you even start to ask such a question. “ I was just wondering… Could you ask…”

She smiled. “Could I ask my brother what his deal is?” It was as if she could read my mind.

“Yeah. I don’t want to be intrusive or anything, I just… He acted…”

She put her hand on my shoulder, the cold seeping through the thin fabric.

“Don’t worry about it. Consider it already done.” She gave me another smile, before turning and walking away. Not even turning around she said. “It’s clear now. Have fun with the secretary.”

That was totally weird. I think I like her though. If only her brother could act more like her.

When I walk out, and head towards the administration office I see a figure moving towards the parking lot, away from my own destination. Edward. Thank god I didn’t run into him. I freez in my tracks. How did Alice know? Maybe she can actually read minds. I glance back at Alice and her brother before I start to walk again. Alice is smiling at her brother as she gets in the car, while Edward himself has an unreadable expression on his face.

As soon as I walk through the door I see the signs on the receptionists face that she like so many others have fallen prey to the spell of Edward. I hate when people use their good looks and charm to get what they want. It takes a special kind of person to use others like that. Anyways, when she spots me she smilles at me like she had this morning.

“Hello Ben. How was your first day?”

 

That night I had trouble sleeping. Even if I wanted to blame the rain or even the whole town, I knew that it wasn’t true. I couldn’t sleep because of Edward. How could a single person have that kind of power over me. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t let that happen again, but here I am and just like last time it’s not going to end well. I should just avoid him. You know what, let him stare all he want. This is still my town, no matter how much I hate it it was still my town before he came here, and it will remain my town. He can’t just com here and take it from me. If I survived transitioning, I can survive high school in Forks  
I still couldn’t fall asleep and made a mental note to ask for a new prescription of sleeping pills if the problem persisted.

To my relife Edward wasn’t in school the next day. Nor the day after that, or the day after that. He was gone for the remainder of the week. Alice on the other hand keeps popping up in random places when you least expected he to. Her I don’t mind, not in the slightest, I just wish she would give me some sort of warning before showing up all unexpected like that. She didn’t talk to me like she did that first day again. It was almost like she wanted to be close to me and far away at the same time. Weird family. First Edward and now Alice. She only talked to me once and that was on the one week anniversary of my arrival.

“Hello.” ...

“Hello.” I responded.

We were at lunch and I was sitting with Jessica and her friends like I usually did. When Alice didn’t say anything I continued.

“Did you want something?” She looked like she wanted something from me, just like Edward had done.

“No. I just wanted to inform you that…”

“Yes..?”

“Well… I guess you would have found out later but I felt like I should tell you…”

“Tell me what?”

“Edward will be back today.”

“What! And I was having such a nice day.”

“Do you have something against Cullen?” Mike asked. Jessica listening intently.

“I don’t know. I guess. After Monday I think I just decided that I don’t like him particularly.”

“What happened on Monday?” Jessica asked.

“Never mind.”  
She turned to Mike who shrugged.

“Thank you Alice.”

“No worries. I just thought you wanted to know.”

“Well I guess I did. Thank you.”

I had almost hoped that he would be gone forever, or at the very least a few more more days. I had quite enjoyed having the Biology bench all to myself.

“Since when are you so close friends with Alice anyway?”  
Alice had already turned around and were walking back towards the rest of her family.

“I don’t know. We’ve not talked that much. I have a theory though.”

“Okay. What is it?”

Jessica was leaning in and had a very serious face on.

“I think she might be a mindreader.”

“Oh.” She almost seemed disappointed.

“No it would make sense. How else would she know about Edward?”

“Maybe you told her and just forgot?” Angela asked.

“No. I would remember something like that.”

Everyone around the table stood up. It was time for the dreaded last lesson. I sighed. Edward time.

I tried to drag my feet on the way to biology, and I would have been able to get a few more minutes out of it if it wasn’t for Mike walking way to fast on the basis that “We would be late otherwise”. I hated him sometimes. And lo and behold. When I walk through the doors to the classroom my eyes instantly dart towards my desk and the seat that is now, after a week's absence, occupied. He is sitting at the edge of his seat and as far to the wall that is physically possible. I am in no rush to sit down and feel his mean dark eyes at me again. This time I at the very least know what will happen.

“Hello.” I hear a voice from my left say. “I’m Edward Cullen. I would like to apologize for my behaviour earlier.”

“Oh.” I look up at him. How could you have changed so drastically within just a week? Or is he just doing this to get help with his grade? He looks at me with those expecting eyes again. Why does he do this to me?

“You’re Ben Swan, right?”

“Um, Yes.” He seemed to niótice my hesitation and raised an eyebrow, so i quickly add. “I just… You’re the first not to call me Benjamin.”

“Would you prefer me to?”

“O God no. It was just an observation.”

“Oh.”

I try to pay attention to the lesson, but as if it’s the universe's way of punishing me for sins I haven’t commit jet, it is about a topic I’ve already covered in Phoenix. I still try to take detailed notes.

 

Mr Banner was walking around handing out microscopes and slides. Great a lab, an experiment which requires teamwork. It must be my lucky day. Edward inserts the first of the slides and shoves the microscope in my direction. Is this a peace offering?

“Do you want to go first?” He gives me a smile that only involves the left side of his face.

“Sure.”

After taking a look at the slide I realize that the exercise will bring m about the same amount of joy as the lecture. We did this in Phoenix long before I moved here.

“May I ask you a question?” He has obviously noticed the hostile undertone in my voice.

“If you want to.”

“Why did you move here? To Forks.”

“It’s complicated.”

“I think I might be able to keep up.”

“Okay.” I won’t tell him everything. No way. But he could get the cut version. “Mom got remarried.”

“And you don’t like the guy?”

“No, he’s really cool. I wanted to give them some space. Phil travels a lot and as long as I stayed at home mom had to stay there with me. It made her unhappy, so I decided to move back here. Spend some time with dad.”

“Move back?”

“I grew up here. Well… I used to spend my summers here.”

“Oh.” He wanted to ask more questions, but he was good at picking up on subtext.

“I find you frustrating.” He finally said.

“What?”

“I find you hard to read. And I’m usually very good at reading others.”

“My mom used to say that I’m like an open book.”

“Not to me.”

He looked genuinely frustrated as he looked at me. I had never thought that I would say this but he really reminded me of him. They were both polite, unnecessarily so, manipulative, and had good looks they could survive on if they needed to. The only difference was that Edward was here and that I now knew the type. If they were the same he would eventually become unbearable.

We finished the task way before the rest of the class, even with some of the students reading from their books skillfully balanced under the table.

“Edward. You should have let Ben try at least a few times,” Mr. Banner said

“He did. He identified all but one, which he believed I identified correctly,” His answer was very elegant. I am definitely right about him.

“So…” Edward turned his attention back to me. “Why did you leave Forks? So you had to come back now,”

“That is a story for another day. A day very far from here,” He looked disappointed.

“Look,” I continued, “I don’t know you, some things just have to stay in the shadows of the past. Besides, you have done nothing to make me trust you, so why do you think you can just come here and demand my life story just like that?”

At that moment I was what you would say “saved by the bell”. I stood up as quickly as possible and left the room. Who does he think he is?  
After tha tense lesson with Edward I feel in no mood to go back home and be questioned by Charlie. Instead I decide to go visit my grandparents living on the reservation. Neither of them would be classified as Quileutes themselves, however, my great grandma was one and we have all been invited to stay on the reservation if we wanted. Charlie never wanted to live there permanently despite the fact that more or less all of his friends lived there. I probably visited more that he did, even counting all that time I spent away from Forks. It’s not that he’s a bad son or don’t want to visit. Since he is police chef Swan he can’t make it look like he favored the people on the reservation and therefore he couldn’t spend all of vis time there. If he hadn’t meet mom he probably would have stayed, but now he doesn't want to go back.

My grandparent have always been supportive of me. They were the first I told. Rosmarie, my grandma, loves to bake. She always have newly made bread at home and if she doesn't she let me help her make it. My grandpa Cecil would be classified as a bit of an oddball. He is the history teacher at the highschool on the reservation and everyone love him. He is also very good at the old stories of the tribe. He used to tell them to me every night when I had trouble sleeping. They are the only things to miss when you leave forks.

And really the only reason that I would accept my new fate to live in forks til the end of highschool.

When I open the door the familiar smell of bread, cinnamon and wood gently caressed my face.

"Hello?" I here grandma call out from somewhere further in the house.

"It's just me, gran,"

"Ben? Is that you?"

"Yes, gran," She runs out from somewhere in the living room. For an old lady she is quite fast and incredibly agile.

"Ben. How nice of you to make room for us in your busy schedule. I know that high school can be tuff. Do you want some cinnamon scones?"

"I would love one," She let me out of a bone crushing hug.

We walk to the kitchen together and she immediately start recounting her day. She always knows when she is needed to do something. If I wanted to talk she would have forced it out of me no matter how much I tried to keep it in. Just like she now know that I just need to be around her. To feel her warmth smile on me and smell the sinemon i the air. Alice might not be the only mind reader i know.

When Charlie calls me to check where I am the time is close to eleven. He doesn't sound worried. He knows where I am. I slowly make my way home again, since spending the night in the reservation would make me way to content and I would not go to school in the morning. Gran is way to kind and spoils me way to much. She would never make me go to school if i made the slightest remark as to not wanting to.

We spent the entire afternoon together. We took a walk to re introduce me to everyone as well as making a long overdue visit to the Blacks and the Clearwaters. They were my best friends when I grew up. Charlie wanted me to become friends with Leah Clearwater as we, in his eyes, were both girls and we did become great friends, but not for that reason. I bonded more with Seth, Leah's younger brother and his friends, which included Jacob Black.

The Clearwaters weren't home, bt I made a promise to be back again later in the week to complete the compulsory “welcome back” tour. Jacob on the other hand was home. He welcomed me back with open arms, and of course the first thing he asks me sif the truck is okay. I have almost no interest in cars but the way Jacob speaks about them you just can’t help to get sucked in as well.

Almost as soon as I get in the driveway i notes that something is out of the ordinary. A silvery care is in the driveway. No. It can’t be. Not here. Not now. Why can’t that pale prick leave me alone.

I walk in the door.

“Dad?” I hope that my shaky voice won’t betray me. “I’m home,”

“Ben. You’re home,” He says with a smile on his face. “ How nice of you to invite one of your friends over for dinner,”

My heat sink in my chest. This is too far, I have talked with him once. This is ridiculous, and bordering on stalking.

I prepare a take the remaining steps to get to the kitchen, and as soon as I do, I stop in my track. It’s not that the table in covered in chinese takeout boxes that surprises me. It is the person sitting there and having a calm conversation with my dad.

Alice???

 

Alice stand from her otherwise comfortable position at our kitchen table. She give me a familiar smile that is very contagious.

“Hello Ben. I decided to drop by with some food as I knew you would be home late,”

When would I have told her that? It was a spur of the moment decision.

I decided not to dwell further on it. If I wasn’t responsible for the food in the house I wouldn’t have waited to eat till I got home, grandpa had tried to insist on me joining them for dinner and only gave in to my protests at the mention of Charlie. Everyone knows what a mess he is in the kitchen.

“Thanks.” I sit down and grab the nearest box with food and begin to eat. It tastes delicious. Everyone else follows my lead.

“This is really good, Alice. Where did you get it from?” Charlie exclames. I notice that he isn’t as awkward around Alice as he is everyone else he knows. Except Billy black, you can always trust Billy to rile my father up to the point of no recognition.

“I got it from that place near Port Angeles,” His face turned into a small frown.

“Then how did you get it here warm without speeding like crazy?”

I turned towards Alice it is an impossible task. And if she did speed here she could lose her license or be vented from our house if she is really unlucky.

“Oh don’t worry officer,” She replied. “I have found a shortcut. No speeding done here.” She smiled and when she meet my eyes she winked.

There are no shortcuts here from Port Angeles. But Charlie seemed content with that answer for now and continued eating. When she meet my eyes a second time I give her a smile. Maybe not all Cullens can be judged by one bad seed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will introdce a new concept where it will swich a bit between Edward's and Ben's perspective to help me write and so I can skip some of the more complicated character set up. You will see way ore of Alice, Jacob, Seth and Leah in the next chapter.


	3. Alice 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short but while writing I gew tired of these consepts and just wanted the chapter to be over. I promis the next one will be longer.

**Chapter 3- Alice 101**

 

Edward first then Ben- Alice- and the reservation set up. Switching

 

I knew who he was as soon as he walked through the door, and at that moment the smell I’d been sensing faintly throughout the day hit me like a train moving at full speed.  _ He was the one. _ The one I’d been waiting for for so long. And when he looked my way, and his Brown eyes meet mine, I just knew. I just knew...

  
  


After having to sit through the first lesson without breathing, not that I needed to breathe but still, I knew that this might as well be impossible. Alice told me to look out today as a new, as she called it, “obstacle” was approaching. If this was what she was referring to obstacle was not even close to covering it. His scent filled the room and it was hypnotizing.  _ I need to get out of here. _ The boy introduced as Ben seemed to notice my still and somewhat hostile demeanour as his breathing started to become more rapid as well as his heartbeats. Just before I stood up to leave the room he did instead. He left his stuff on the table and just ran out. Everyone’s eyes turned to me and I could do no more than shrug. Mr Banner seemed to be oblivious, but when I read his mind he had been informed that this could happen and therefore, for Ben’s sake, pretended that nothing had happened.

 

His scent still lingered long after he's left the room, now it was weaker reminiscent of a scented candle. When the class is dismissed he still hasn't returned, so I take his stuff from the table and decide to find a way to get them to him.  _ If I leave them in the reception he’ll probably get them. Most likely he’s heading there anyway. _

 

I barely get out the door of the classroom before I’m interrupted by Alice. She must have been waiting for me.

 

“Hello, Edward,”

 

“Hello, Alice,”

 

“I can take them if you want to go talk to someone at reception,” She pointed at the books and stuff that I held in my arms.

 

“And you would I want to do that,” She just smiled.

 

“Okay fine,” I handed over the things to Alice. “Make sure he doesn’t go to the office while I’m still there, okay Alice?”

 

“Sure, that will be no problem.” I turned around and started to walk away. Before I was ot of hearing distance I added.

 

“I won’t be having  _ any  _ luck today will I?”

“No.” She replied.

  
  


Dinner with Alice was pleasant. She is full of energy and her laugh is contagious. Charlie was smiling all throughout dinner and by the end of it I too had a smile going from ear to ear. I’d never thought much of the friends I might make here in Forks since I left the one I want to keep for the rest of my life in Phoenix. Alice has a way about her that makes me think about Melissa. Melissa was the only person who truly made an effort when it came to understanding me. She  _ wanted _ to understand and she was always supportive even if she never quite did understand what I was going through. She was my best friend in the whole world. Besides my gradn, but it only sounds sad if you say that your best friend is a relative, especially since you only have about one other person you can call a friend.

 

When I left Phoenix I left her behind as well. We made a deal, as to make the separation as painless as possible. If we called the pain and the guilt would just get bigger, so we decided that we were going to have compleat radio silence for the remainder of the semester. Seeing Alice makes me regret that promise.

 

That night I lay awake for hours. The next appointment I have with my doctor is in a few days and i’m still contemplating whether I should talk to him about my problems sleeping. They only seem to happen after hanging out with Alice. I haven't had to take sleeping pills since  _ Him. _ Not wanting to be on them is less about not having to take pills but more about the feeling of sanity and normalcy that it gives me. I know I will never be “normal”, I gave up on that idee a long time ago. I already take meds to start to look more like I know i should have from the beginning. I count on my fingers and then smile. It has been over a year. One year on T.  The changes are so small I don’t even notice them anymore. Just knowing still make me happy.

 

I spend some more time thinking about Melissa, and Alice… and Edward. What is his problem? When I fall asleep I spend all night dreaming about forests, corridors and something I can’t see chasing me.

  
  


“Ben!”

 

Everyone's eyes turn to me as Leah stand up and run to hug me. You can see her eyes literally light up as we get closer, and I can’t help but mirror her.

 

“How have you been?” She continues.

 

“I’ve been just fine,” I reply. “But what about you? How have you been? And how was Monday, you and Seth were off doing what exactly?”

 

“Oh, come on, we couldn’t know that you would choose just that day to make the rounds. We were actually out to prepare for Christmas. Which you and your dad are invited to by the way,”

 

“Obviously,”

 

I can see Seth and Jacob in the distains playing soccer with the other kids from the reservation.No matter what relationship you have with Leah you can always pick it right back up with her no matter how much time has passed. She doesn’t have many friends even on the reservation, if it wasn’t for her boyfriend she wouldn’t have much social contact at all. I knew that when I left Forks all those years ago I would leave someone who really needed me behind. But she did good for herself and moved on. Now that I’m just back I’m ever so grateful for her gift to just pick everything up just as it was before. As she recounted everything that had happened since I left she introduced me to all of her and her boyfriend, Sam’s, friends. She is my way back in.

 

That afternoon and almost all the rest that followed I spend on the reservation to try to build my life there back up again. Everyone had missed me, and everyone else had barely known who I was before transitioning. Even if I didn’t live there it is my home more than any other place in Forks. Leah and I start talking again on a regular basis, and we start to hang out after school and doing homework together. Seth is almost always out doing things, just like Jacob, but he joins us sometimes.

 

Alice is also a new constraint in my life. We talk every day at school, she is the only real friend I have in school. Jessica is nice and all, but she is a bit clingy. Angela is nice and we talk during lunch, but she has other friends so we rarely talk other than that. Mike and Eric are nice and all, but they are way to into their own things and they always want to talk about things that don’t interest me in the slightest. In other words, the rest of the semester flies by and before I know it Christmas is just a few weeks away. And as every high school ever there is a winter dance approach. Something I’m not looking forward to. I’m not a dancer, and besides, no one here knows me and with my two left feet I’m not going alone and looking like a total loser that just stands by a wall all alone all evening. What I didn’t expect, however, was that someone did want me to go.

  
  


“So... Ben. What are you planning for the holidays?” Jessica looked me in the eyes and leaned in.

 

“I don’t know. Charlie and I haven’t talked about it yet. What about you?”

 

“I don’t know either, but we will most likely do what we do every year. We never change or traditions,”

 

“You always do the same thing? You never make new traditions?”

 

“Nope, always the same,”

 

I don’t know what to say to that. Jessica used to be able to just keep talking whenever the silence grew too thick, now she always expect me to help her with battling the silence. This may be why I keep trying to avoid being alone with her.

 

“So,” She continues. “You have no real plans for the holiday? Maybe we could do something?”

 

“Like what,”

 

“Oh I don’t know, watch a movie maybe,”

 

At first, I don’t understand why she is so persistent. And besides, we would most likely spend the entire time on the reservation. Then it dawned on me.

 

“Are you trying to ask me out?”

 

“Finally, yes, yes I am,”

 

“Why?” It feels like a dumb question.

 

“What do you mean why? Don’t you get it, I like you,”

 

“Jes… I like you too, but…”

 

“But what Ben? Either you do or you don’t,”

 

“I do like you, just not like that. I like you as a friend,”

 

Silence. Jessica is just staring at me like I’m crazy to turn her down.

 

“It’s Alice, isn’t it,”

 

“What?”

 

“Oh my god, Ben, and I thought you were smart. You’re into Alice aren’t you, that’s why you have been hanging around her all the time,”

 

“Jes… No,”

 

“Then what?”

 

I feel trapped. No matter which way I turn and no matter what I do I will only make it worse.

I turn my head down to pretend I’m looking at my shoes.

 

“Yes,” I say. “It’s Alice,” I can feel how sour the words taste. I hate lying, and especially since it’s at the cost of my new friend.

 

“I knew it,”

 

“I’m sorry Jessica,”

 

“I’m sorry to Ben.”

 

“Why are you sorry it’s not li…”

 

“You’re not the first one to fall for one of the Cullens. It gets easier, I swear.” SHe puts a hand on my shoulder before leaving.

 

I feel strange in my entire body. But now I need some alone time. I can feel the tingly sensation in my hands and soon it’ll spread. I just need a place where I can sit down, without everyone’s eyes on me, and do my breathing exercises.

  
  


After hiding in the bathroom for what felt like hours I go to my next class. I hate anxiety attacks. The rest of the day flies by and I feel like everyone is looking at me. What is going on? Wel, I soon find out.

 

“Hello, Ben.” It’s Alice.

 

“Hi, Alice.” I give her a meek smile.

 

“How has your day been?”

 

“Adequate... What about you? Any adoring fans trying to ask you out over the holidays?”

 

“No. Should they?”

 

“No, I’m just complaining about my own life. But seriously…”

 

“My family and I will spend the holidays at home. Nothing grand to be honest. You could probably come over if you’d like.” She phrased it like a statement but said it like a question.

 

“Me? At your house? With your family?”

 

“Is that reaction really warranted?”

 

“I… Well… Yes, I mean, No… I don’t know,”

 

“Well, I thought, since you like me and all..” I look up, eyes widened. She’s laughing.

“You just said that to get rid of Jessica, right?”

 

“Of course, I don’t like you… I mean, I do like you, I just…”

 

“Don’t worry, Ben. i get it,”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yes, and you’re still invited to us on Christmas if you so wish,”

 

“I’ll think about it. I might show up a bit later on Christmas day if you don’t mind,”

 

“Not at all. I’ll notify the rest of the family,”

 

“You make it sound so serious,”

 

“Don’t worry, they already love you,”

  
  


When Christmas finally rolled around we still hadn't seen the first snowfall of the year. Charlie kept saying that I would love it once it happened, and yet the cold seemed to be a long time away. I was not looking forward to it. Cold weather and ice does not help the uncoordinated. I wouldn’t say I’m clumsy, I*m deadly. The amount of near-death experiences I’ve had are astounding. I don’t just fall over, it’s not that, I have no control over my limbs, and the growth spurt that hit me last summer it’s gotten even worse.

 

For Christmas I finally got enough money for that new computer. Renée hadn’t gotten tired of talking over the phone, but she had complained over that she couldn’t send me links with cool stuff she found and that I couldn’t see the awesome pictures they always took and posted. I love my mother but always wanting to be connected isn’t really my thing. Ever since I showed her how facebook worked she is almost never offline.

 

Christmas eve was chaos. Christmas at the reservation is a bit more hectic than it is when it’s just me, mum and Phil. Originally I thought that it would just be me, Charlie and my grandparents, turns out this and thanksgiving are the only times that Charlie can stand larger crowds of people. It all started out with a big meal with most of the familiar faces in the reservation and ended with a cosy hot chocolate by the campfire while Billy Black, Jacob's dad, told us old stories of the trib. These things are why I had the courage to return to Forks for all those years.

 

Then finally came the time for my trip to the Cullens. The directions Alice gave me were very detailed and I had no problem finding my way.  I didn’t know what i expected. The house was big and full of windows. What a waste of heat. Everyone knows that loads of windows make a house way too difficult to keep heated. But if you got the money, and the view I guess it’s worth it. As I step on to the steps leading up to the front door, Alice steps out on the porch to greet me.

 

“Ben, I’m glad you could make it,”

 

“Hi Alice, so am I, Your place is lovely,”

 

“Well, you’ve only seen the outside, why don’t you come in for a moment before we go,”

 

“Go? Go where?”

 

“I texted you remember?”

 

“I thought you weren’t serious,”

 

“Why would I not be serious?”

 

“I don’t know, maybe you decided to act normal for one second,”

 

“You think I’m not normal,” Alice’s smile disappeared and left her face blank.

 

“Oh, believe me. If I thought you were normal, we most likely wouldn’t be friends.”

 

She turned her head slightly.

 

“Well, you know, normal people scare me, and all,”

 

“Oh,”

 

As soon as I entered the house I was meet with an incredible smell. It wasn’t just Alice and Edward that smelled nice, it was their whole house. It has to be more than them all using the same soap.

 

I was ordered not to take my shoes off and to follow her through the house. I only caught glimpses of the rooms in the house as we walked passed them. Alice promised me to give me a house tour next time. We walked through a long corridor until we stopped in front of a door.

 

“Do you need to go to the bathroom before we go?”

 

“I might as well, will the drive there take long?”

 

“Not that long, besides we like to drive fast,”

 

“Let me guess, another shortcut?”

 

“Exactly,”

 

We smile at each other. She is definitely my best friend here outside of the reservation. Maybe I could introduce them sometime.

  
  


What Alice and had planned to take me, I wasn’t 100% sure of. She only told me to dress fancy and bring snacks. Turns out, they were taking me to see a performance of Charles Dickens A Christmas carol. How Alice knew that I’d always wanted to see it I still blamed on the mind reading theory. She just had to be able to read minds, how else had she gotten so good, The actual show was just as amazing as I’d imagined it.

 

When I was a kid my class was going to go see A Christmas carol before Christmas break, but because it was an expensive show we couldn’t afford to go since every child had to pay for their own ticket. I pretended that I was sick so that mom would feel less bad about it. That was how I came to know Melissa, the best friend. She was the only other kid who didn’t see the show. She, on the other hand, had actually been sick. Melissa and I went and saw it a few years later after her dad got an extra ticket by mistake. I always had a suspicion that they always intended for me to have the extra ticket but were too polite to say so. Money is always a touchy subject. The show was amazing either way and now, a second time, it’s still in my top three theatres ever,

 

After the show, they took me back to their house and we had dinner. I noticed that they all ate very slowly and with minimal portions. I decided to let it slide and to enjoy the meal anyways.  _ Something is seriously wrong with this family and their relationship with food. _

 

When I said goodbye we realized that I didn’t get that house tour that I wanted, but it was late so it would have to wait. When I drove off I could see Alice standing smilng and waving from the doorway in my rearview mirror until I took a turn and she disappeared. The Cullens is a great family, too bad that had to have one bad apple in the basket.

  
  


Jessica texted me on new years that she would be throwing a party since her parents were away “fixing their marriage”. In other words getting a divorce was too expensive and too much work. Given my own family situation, you can’t really blame me for my cynical view of marriage. I just can’t see the point of it. Since Charlie decided to spend new years on the reservation with his friends I decided to take her up on her offer. I also invited some of the people from the reservation with Jessica’s approval. So when the time comes I go with Jacob, Leah, Seth, and some more of their friends.

 

I drive to the reservation to pick up Seth and Leah, Jacob takes his own motorbike and will meet us there. During the drive, we talk about everything I’ve missed since last time. Having friends on the reservation and not living there yourself makes sure you’ll always miss the important stuff and will always have to hear about it after the fact. But I don’t really mind. They are my closest friends in Forks and it is clearly worth it.

 

When we arrive at Jessica’s house we are among the first people there. We enter the house and help get the last things in order before the rest of the people arrive. The music is loud and I know that this is an environment that will trigger my anxiety sooner or later. I just need to be prepared t deal with it when it arises. I dance some with Leah and give them all time to get to know the people from Forks high school. Everything is going smoothly until the last people arrive. Just two hours before midnight the Cullen siblings arrive. Jessica seems surprised that they would come at all. But what confused me the most was the reaction from the reservation kids. They appeared almost hostile. It took some time but we successfully de-escalated the situation. Later I decided to talk to Sam Uley about it. He’d been one of the most extreme of the bunch.

 

“Hey Sam, what does the tribe have against the Cullens?”

 

“There are stories, you should know them,”

 

“What, which stories, there has been a lot over the years?”

 

“Ben, don’t worry about it, we can make it through one night,”

 

“But you shouldn’t have to “make it through”, just because the tribe has one opinion doesn’t mean that you all need to follow the same path,”

 

“Ben, just leave it, okay,” Sam stood up and walked away.

 

I’d never been such a fan of Sam, even if he was Leah’s boyfriend I never really accepted him as part of the group. He isn't usually this rude, but it only confirmed my suspicions that he wasn’t as nice as he pretended to be.

 

Other than that small mishap it was a moderately successful night. We all had fun and we reported that we all could imagine doing it again. I gave Leah Seth and Sam a ride back to the reservation. When I said goodbye to Leah she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear.

 

“ _ Have you noticed Sam acting strange lately. _ ” She still smiled at me, and I nodded my head.

 

Sam had been acting strange the past few days. It wasn*t just tonight. It had progressively been getting worse and I hoped for both their sakes that this was just a temporary bump in the road. Leah was one of my best friends and I can’t just stand by and watch her get hurt by someone she loves.

 

That was when I made an important choice. If Alice were to be one of my closest friends I couldn’t keep being mad at her brother. If I want to choose her, I have to stand him as well.

 


End file.
